Today's Conflict Top 10 actions when spotting negative verbal or physical behaviors in the workplace:
10) Remember that in the moment, there is often a distinction between one's intention and one's behavior.
9) Remember that people who get "Emotionally Hijacked" can not effectively manage emotions or process information for a minimum of 15-18 minutes (maybe up to a few hours) so select a time to meet later to discuss.
8) Move slowly and use the "W.A.I.T. Principle" when you hear something you don't like --- W.A.I.T. = Why Am I Talking...am I talking to defend, defy, justify, argue, problem solve? Use silence more effectively.
7) Be careful when using humor; it may backfire -- Sarcasm can rarely be used successfully in the workplace and is usually an inappropriate response.
6) Understand your default response to conflict. According to Thomas Kilman, avoid your negative default reactions and take the time to choose better responses.
[Please visit www.synergydt.com/newsletter1 to read the rest of the top 10.]
10) Remember that in the moment, there is often a distinction between one's intention and one's behavior.
9) Remember that people who get "Emotionally Hijacked" can not effectively manage emotions or process information for a minimum of 15-18 minutes (maybe up to a few hours) so select a time to meet later to discuss.
8) Move slowly and use the "W.A.I.T. Principle" when you hear something you don't like --- W.A.I.T. = Why Am I Talking...am I talking to defend, defy, justify, argue, problem solve? Use silence more effectively.
7) Be careful when using humor; it may backfire -- Sarcasm can rarely be used successfully in the workplace and is usually an inappropriate response.
6) Understand your default response to conflict. According to Thomas Kilman, avoid your negative default reactions and take the time to choose better responses.
[Please visit www.synergydt.com/newsletter1 to read the rest of the top 10.]
Case Study
Synergy Development & Training recently worked with a billion dollar organization. One of the initiatives we developed was to help a C-suite executive that was burning bridges at every turn. He was not aware of or using his emotional intelligence, he managed with fear and relied on poor interpersonal skills that were ineffective and, in fact, pushed his negativity through several silos and across all organizational boundaries. Morale was low and the negativity was becoming contagious...something had to be done to stop this drain and reverse the process.
Following a leadership 360 survey, six months of executive coaching and mediation dealing with a tough relationship with a negative history, this leader completely turned it around. Actually, colleagues and superiors told this individual that his changes were amazing and his ability to lead effectively was magnified. It was striking to see the difference in the way he carried himself, not to mention the relationships he was able to mend on his own. More significantly, the organization has benefited from the positive ripple effects. Attendance, morale and employee productivity have all risen under this "new-found" leader.
One specific nugget this leader gleaned was the discovery of how to change course from a failing path of intimidation and what some might consider brute force. Through a thorough assessment and targeted coaching, he quickly abandoned many of the bad habits he had carried on his back for most of his professional career. Understanding how to come across more effectively, combined with a refreshed attitude toward work and the people around him unlocked his internal power to make these professional changes on quickly and rather easily. Understanding how his reality matched up with others, combined with a new attitude and a professional guide, he became clear about creating a new path - as he said, "this came directly from coaching." This coach created a non-judgmental, confidential opportunity to face real challenges and overcome the most significant professional (and personal) obstacles.
Coaching was rated by highly regarded HR magazines last year as one of the top four most valuable professional development initiatives. From my experience, I would say it is #1. Countless leaders have been able to make adjustments for themselves and the way they lead others. Leaders that are able to embrace and accept the concept of a coach as an added benefit can and should view it an award the organization only provides to those it considers highly valuable. It is coaching that continues to provide added value to individuals, teams and the bottom line.
---
Let's face it, in these tough times, we can not allow ourselves to get burned out, we must take action - and just being strong doesn't count. Caring management doesn't cut it and hope is not a method. Both leaders and employees need skills that are viable, valuable and actionable immediately. We need skills that can make a real difference in the way we work together.
More shifts will happen. We need to create value and build conflict management and effective negotiation skills into the fabric of our work culture. These two skills are required on a moment-to-moment basis in every organization around the world...conflict is the only constant.
Thank you for staying connected and working with me to prevent, manage and resolve conflict everyday! With that in mind; please share what you are doing to improve your work environment. I would love to hear about your experiences, successes and failures with your peers, seniors and subordinates. We can all learn from one another. We promise the highest level of confidentially and will never use specific names without permission.
Best Regards,
Dave
Comments