“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
-Walt Kelly
FEAR * ANGER * CONTROL * TRUST * SYNERGY
Fear, anger, control, the lack of trust and synergy are the greatest inhibitors to a personal and professional life with reduced conflict. Before explaining each concept in its own individual chapter, it would help to examine some overview questions on the subject.
Use the Agents of Socialization, the Essential Questions and our past experiences to explore each of these concepts and how they are directly relate to us.
F = Fear
¨ Who would I be if I were not afraid? What could I do?
¨ What is my approach toward handling fear? What fears have I overcome?
¨ What am I truly afraid of in this life? What can I do now?
¨ Who can help me overcome this fear?
¨ What will happen if I do not overcome this fear?
A = Anger
¨ What is the distinction between disappointed, frustrated and angry?
¨ How did I learn to be angry and show it?
¨ Why is anger an acceptable emotion for me?
¨ How can I anticipate anger before it happens, and what can I do about it?
¨ What about anger is unacceptable for me?
C = Control
¨ How does control show up in my most relationships? Acquaintances? Friends? Colleagues?
¨ Are there any specific control issues to investigate?
¨ How can I relinquish the need for control in the moment? Is there a way to remind myself when I feel this pull?
¨ How do I respond when I feel someone is trying to control me in a way that does not damage to the relationship?
¨ How can I manage situations so that it does not look controlling?
T = Trust
¨ What were my earliest messages about trust?
¨ What does trust mean to me? Is it a top currency of mine?
¨ How do I build and sustain trust with friends, family, colleagues and others?
¨ With whom can I reestablish trust right now?
¨ What would happen if I went out of my way to demonstrate trust?
S = Synergy
¨ How well do I work with others? Where did I learn how to be myself in a group?
¨ What is about others that gets in my way?
¨ How do I respond to attempts at being included or not included?
¨ What is the cost of not creating synergy?
¨ How can I create and demonstrate more value when I am working with others?
F.A.C.T.S. summarizes some of the most basic life issues and obstacles. The timing of our actions and reactions will often influence the impact of a situation. Unfortunately, many people react with conflict or behavior that brings about conflict secondarily.
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